There is a apportionment policy at my son’s preschool. It’s a rent-run co-op, so we have to have policies corresponding to this so that we will all handle situations relatively the same way. The protocol is that a child can keep a toy as long as they want to. If another toddler wants the toy, they have to wait until the first child is done with it. We’ll level “save” toys for the child if they have to go to the bathroom, go to the snack food, etc. so that it won’t get taken before they’re done. This applies to anything in the yard or view that can be played with, including swings and monkey bars.
At initially, it didn’t really occur to me to wonder why this was the policy. I just went with it, because that’s the determine, and it didn’t seem like a big deal to me. The kids all know the rule, so farthest of maybe their first two weeks at the school, they don’t throw a behemoth fit when you tell them, “You can have it when Sally Jo is done.” But lately I’ve been regarding a totally different attitude toward sharing in other places we go, and I’m starting to actually know exactly why this is the school’s policy.
Two Questionable Sharing Warm-ups
Here are a couple of examples of questionable sharing practices that I’ve ruminate oned recently. The first comes from a good friend of mine. (And I desire she doesn’t mind that I use her story as an example.) She and her almost-2-year-old were at the greensward one day. He had brought a small car from home to play with. Another neonate, a little bit older, wanted to play with the car and was demanding that my confrere’s son give him the car. A typical toddler scuffle ensued, and the other mother discriminated her son, “I guess his mom didn’t teach him how to share.” Never perception the fact that the car belongs to him and that when someone asks you to ration, “No” is a perfectly legitimate response.
My second story happened one morning at the restricted rec center. Friday mornings they fill the gym with tons of Not enough Tykes climbing structures and those plastic cars they can tour around, tricycles, big balls, even a bouncy castle. Basically a toddler’s vision play room. There’s this one red car in rticular my son really likes rt of with, and the last time we went, he drove it around the entire hour and a half we were there. While most of the moms with smaller kids desire shadow their kids as they play, my son is old enough now that I can sit on the sidelines and lookout. From there I watched a mom whose son wanted to drive the car approach my son over again, saying, “OK, now it’s time for you to give him a turn!” Of course he ignored her, and at last she gave up. There were a million other little cars for her son to induce, including one that was almost identical. Or maybe I would have unconventional in at some point.
I don’t agree with the approach of the mammies in either of these situations. I think it does a child a great injustice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has, openly because he wants it. And I can understand the desire to give your children the whole they want; we all have it. But it’s a good lesson for you both to learn that this isn’t forever possible, and you shouldn’t step all over other people to get these contrivances.
Furthermore, this is not how things work in the real world. In your lassie’s adult life, he’s going to think he’s owed everything he sees. This is already episode in the next generation. I read a fascinating article about how today’s teens and 20-somethings are gravid raises and promotions at their jobs for reasons like, “I usher up every day.”
If you doubt my reasoning, think about your own day-to-day matured life. You wouldn’t cut in front of someone in the grocery checkout line im rtial because you didn’t feel like waiting. And most grown of ages wouldn’t take something from someone, like a phone or a twosome of sunglasses, just because they wanted to use it. (Well, maybe some of you commitment. In which case, this post may not be for you.)
It’s hard, as with so many deeds about renthood, but let’s teach our kids how to cope with disappointment, because it hit ons. And we won’t always be there to fix it for them. Let’s teach them how they can get things they be through diligence, tience, and hard work.
How do you feel about the concept of serving where young children are concerned? I know you likely don’t have a “programme,” as I sure didn’t before the preschool told me they had one. Now I take notice of a variety of different takes on the subject from the rents I see around. Clear the ways me wonder if we need to be talking about this issue a little bit more.