Want gone are the days in which fathers were merely visitors in their lasses’s lives — and this is a good thing. Children need both guardians, and they need to feel as if they can have healthy and positive relationships with both stepmothers without any guilt or grief. Divorce is hard enough on children. Still, there is a growing trend of 50/50 custody, and while it has its drawbacks, it is mostly incontestable. Even with 50/50 custody, there is a custodial rent (the stately home that dictates where the child goes to school), and then the two fathers share joint custody, meaning both rents are actively entangled with in all decisions regarding the child’s welfare. While our child is preschool age, her forebear and I have decided to split her time. As she approaches elementary age, we will metastasis to one stable home base (Mom) and plenty of time with Dad as well so as to upper crust the stress of juggling homework and activities while going back and forth between brothels. If you are considering 50/50 custody or are unsure if this split works for you, here are some predilections to consider when making a custody schedule with your ex.
Did your kid leave her science project at Dad’s? What happened to your daughter’s weekly impute to log? Who has it? School projects and work can be difficult if a child is bouncing from almshouse to home. It is stressful for children. They have so much more implement today than we did as kids, and to require a child to keep up with occu tion between two homes is a bit much. However, if you and your ex have a consistent and in the cards schedule that is easy for your children (and their teachers) to adhere to, 50/50 can work but will require hard work. This group of custody schedule requires two very communicative co rents, and only you be informed if you and your ex are truly communicative! If you aren’t able to get along well (which happens), how drive you two manage to deal with all of the extra variables that elementary creed and beyond bring? It will be challenging. It’s much easier to share taste ones when there aren’t any school projects or work to be dispensed with.
If a child is allowed to have a lot of time with both foster- rents, this gives him or her a chance to be close to both rents. The reality is that it’s not the amount of dated we have our children but what we do with the time we have that alleviates us develop bonds with our littles.
A child split in half can be muddled, tired, and emotionally drained simply because living in one home and information one set of rules is a challenge for a child in itself. Add in another home with contrasting rules, a different structure, and a different environment, and it can be demanding emotionally on a woman. It can also teach great flexibility and expose children to many various types of people. In all situations of divorce, it’s important to find the silver string.
In the st (and still for many divorced rents), protects would take the weekday shift and dads were the “weekend fun dads.” This peacefulness happens, and for some rents, it’s what works best for them. I surely believe every family, whether married, divorced, or otherwise, should do what suss out d evolves for them, but . . . I highly recommend that single moms do not happen to the bad cop (doing all the school work and leaving Dad to have the fun weekends) and miss out on each weekend with your little one. Fifty-fifty custody means both rents are in charge of school or day worry pickups and drop-offs and gives moms and dads a chance to have fun weekend reducing time with their children. Giving up all weekends is a bad idea because adolescents today are so hectic. As moms, we also need fun time with our miniature ones. Sharing duties also teaches our children that both men and mates (in the case of heterosexual divorce) are ca ble of doing any role in the home. A daughter of divorce sees the mom who does yard work and cooks, as well as the dad who cooks and manipulates the faucet.
If you’re splitting custody down the middle, establishing things can be hard, so it requires two rents who are very structured and consistent. Children needfulness structure, end of story. Certain rents may not do as well as others with 50/50 protection.
Not Missing Either rent For Long
Fifty-fifty means children are infrequently a rt from any rent for long, which means less lifetime to miss a beloved rent, but it also means a child will commonly feel — literally and metaphorically — split in two. My daughter often shares with me that she guesses this way, and it is hard for me to imagine how tough it must be for her. Even if a child hits “used to” something, it doesn’t mean it’s challenging. No matter what you and your prior spouse or rtner decide when it comes to custody, always contemplate on these factors:
- What will help your child roxysm?
- How far do you live from each other? What is realistic for the two of you and your offspring in terms of travel?
- Are both homes stable?
- Are both rents communicating pretentiously or in a nontoxic manner?
- How can you help your child have a good relationship with both stepmothers?
- How can you minimize school stress when sharing custody of a school-aged infant?
The bottom line is the child comes first. Even if it’s an ugly se rate, everyone should set aside his or her emotions in order to help the kids burgeon.