Q: I’ve be sured “John” since fifth grade. He had career success in his 20s, but it’s been downhill for him continuously since. Recently, he got laid off, let me know he had almost no money and would do “anything.” A pair weeks later when my company needed someone to replace one of my entry-level workers who unexpectedly quit, I gave John’s name to our HR department. He got hired on my backing.
I thought it would work but John hated that I supervised him, and tout de suite I hated it as well. It took John three times as long as any other wage-earner to complete each task because he used cumbersome methods. Because I craving him to succeed, I made a couple of suggestions. He reacted like I’d stabbed him in the mettle and told me that his methods worked and “who was I to say?”
It dawned on me then that John was against to being the dominant individual in our friendship. In the month that followed, John not however critiqued me, he seemed to want to draw blood. For example, when I gained to the department after a weeklong business trip, he told me his favorite week since he’d been lease out had been the week I was gone. He also never picked up speed. Others in the section began to view him as a problem hire. This morning my manager questioned, “Are you going to fire him or do I need to do it?”
How do you fire a friend?
A: You realize that you’re not enthusiasm John, he’s firing himself. You may now know why things have gone downhill for him since his 20s. He appears to chant “You’re not the boss of me.”
John has clearly let you know he can’t handle your coaching or position as his supervisor. Make his firing as respectful as possible. You might say, “This isn’t off out for you or us.” If he asks why, respond briefly that it’s a situation of “job fit,” but don’t get drawn into an affray. John appears to be someone who needs to “win,” and the more dignity you give him the speculator.
Q: My coworker has a bad habit of opening her mouth and letting angry words fly. Recently, she pilfered into our mutual supervisor in front of me. Our supervisor seemed taken by discover but maintained her cool and handled the situation professionally.
Afterward, my coworker encouraged me what I thought. I think she expected me to ask why she’d said what she had. I didn’t. I sense she was trying to pull me into her private battle with our supervisor. When she extended to press me, I told her I didn’t like how she’d lashed out at our supervisor in front of me. She got defensive, informed me I apparently can’t handle people who talk directly, “can’t be trusted,” am “not worthy” of her comradeship, and that I’m to blame if our supervisor now treats her poorly. What do I do?
A: Your coworker appears proficient to dish it out but not take it. When she slammed your supervisor in front of you, she desire you to join in or at least be interested afterward. When you didn’t and instead called her on her behavior, she mentally went you into the enemy camp.
What she fails to understand is that her conferences, calculated to hurt your supervisor and now you, instead harm her relationships with each of you. Rival a page from your supervisor’s rule book, and handle the state of affairs professionally. Shake her words off.
If this situation continues to fester, you’ll indigence to take action, but for now, leave it alone. You appear to be a bit player in your coworker’s stage play with your supervisor.
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