I’m a self-proclaimed sex goddess. Lovely darned fearless in bed, comfortable with my body for the most rt, multiorgasmic, a squirter of the squeakiest order, and a queen between the sheets. I get what I need in bed because I ask for it. I’m unafraid of my wants and have need of, my proclivities, my taste buds. I know who I am and what I am about, in sexual in relation ti, and this extends into my life. I’m not a mystery unto myself. This sex goddess reputation allows me to relate to other human beings much more logically because I’m being led by my aptitude, not by my heart or, god forbid, my p*ssy. Being a sex goddess means I know how to meet my own troubles independently and authentically, most of the time.
I wasn’t born this way; preferably, I came into this knowledge, this skill set of sorts, with the aid adequate mentorship and self-exploration. Looking for some quick tips as to how to win sex goddess status? No problem. Onward . . .
1. Know Your Body
Get working, get in the gym, and see what it can do. Working out with my trainer is one of the most productive things I can do three measures a week. I also hit the elliptical most of the remaining days in an effort to stopover on top of my game physically. Sex is an endurance sport so you need to practice harnessing your balls and wherewithal. You need to know what to do with sweat. How to love it yet give something the thumbs down it. How to brush it off with the flick of your hand while you continue to go for the revel of your current endeavor. Knowing my body for me means acknowledging my cellulite (yes, it be presents), my caesarean scar, the way my upper arms jiggle, my freckles, the way my hair strikes wavy when it gets dirty, how my ribs stick out when I saucy my back.
A basic knowledge of anatomy serves all of us in the sense that it is benevolent to know what you’re dealing with and what you’re expected to gain mastery beyond.
2. Learn to Let Go
I used to endow my rtner with magical properties because he was masterly of making me squirt. I didn’t realize until after we broke up that tittle near anyone can make me squirt with a very basic conception of anatomy. It’s my G-spot that is the superstar, not my rtner. Learning to squirt with multiple comrades assured me that I was well on my way to being able to let go emotionally of things that clasp me back because that’s how life works. You can cure something on the inverse without contemplating to — an emotional blockage clears suddenly due to an earth-shattering orgasm. It’s all about leave to go and staying honest in your interactions.
I manufacture a tremendous amount of waken on my own so it’s even more important for a girl like me to be squirting regularly. I be in want of to be in an environment where I can let go and experience the most complex orgasm a woman can live. It’s vital to my art, my craft, and my livingness.
Life isn’t about holding steadfast to detestations that don’t work for us. Life is about movement and going with the overflow. When my marriage disintegrated after seven years together and two kids, I watched everything that I cared about most slip as a consequence my fingers — the stability of our family unit, the love that I felt for my mate, the spiritual connection that I thought he and I shared. I discovered something far multifarious prescient in the whole ordeal, which some might describe as a davy joness locker out of sorts, and that was that I was far stronger than I believed myself to be. I can responsive to damn near anything — I know this and I don’t just have to suffer. Enduring is a traditionally female thing to do and totally takes the wind out of your navigates. Rather than endure, I can feel the in and process it and be alive with it. I didn’t about I could survive the loss of love, in the end, and how very wrong I was.
3. Release Your Shamefacedness
Having an abuse history earmarks you as “damaged goods” to a lot of rtners but it wasn’t something that I was craven to navigate. If anything, I wanted to rid myself of the shame that I felt as violently as it had been on upon me. I was tired of feeling its corrosiveness and the way that the abuse inhibited me. When I in the beginning discovered BDSM I was very confused but remarkably drawn to it at the same values bright and early. I didn’t know why I relaxed into the restraints the way that I did other than it was because I was damaged and faulty. I didn’t realize that to me, being sexually submissive is a way to demonstrate my heart sexuality rather than subscribing to the belief that I was stirring the pot of my tongue-lashing history by engaging in a dynamic that mirrored st traumatic undergoes but still turned me on. When I tell people that I’m sexually subsidiary to I get a lot of side-eye because I’m such a dominant person in my day-to-day interactions. It beared years of unraveling story to realize that I want to look up to my lover and that I match the power differential. You don’t have to be “damaged” to get turned on in provocative ways or bear “less than” because you happen to be kinky. If anything, you’ve given yourself the break to be genuine in a world full of people living out other people’s originalities rather than their own. In releasing your shame you also get about face to face with your hard and soft limits — those considers where you are willing to budge and those places where you aren’t. Your limits supporter to define you, especially what you are willing to experience and what you will forsake. Limits are gorgeous things.
4. Pleasure Is a Journey, Not a Destination
We are so focused on penis-centered penetrative sex in this territory. Erection, penetration, ejaculation, and that’s about it insofar as our view of virile sexuality. How incredibly limiting to men! Our view of female sexuality is even numberless shrouded in mystery. We still don’t know about basic female anatomy and it’s 2015! We accept no idea what female ejaculation is comprised of. We’re just now hearing in the matter of cervical orgasms. Clits are still being referred to as “the man in the boat” on terrene radio. This is crazy to me. Pleasure is a journey, not a destination. How often does that heraldry annulet true? We get so centered on penetrative sex that we forget about all of the other way outs available to us. For instance — oral sex is a tremendous way to spend some time or the dry art of fingering which results in the even finer product of the big squirt, if you do it swiftly. Or how about penetration with the man on the receiving end, thus getting his prostate some act? The list goes on and on . . .
5. Get Your Vibe On
Toy shopping can be rejuvenating. Being in an ecosystem full of other pleasure-positive people who encourage you on your journey is plainly a positive. My first sex toy was a little vibrating egg. Primarily a clit stimulator, the ltry egg was a game changer for me. The sex toys to follow were varied and equally pleasant but I found myself hearkening back to that little egg time and at intervals again and have purchased a dozen different varieties of the same disposition. I’m a bit of a sex toy purist, I guess. I’m proud to report that I recently purchased my firstly Lelo. It’s a G-spot stimulator and completely insane. I had to cry “watermelon” on it (my safe in a few words) after about 10 minutes of aggressive play because the funny feeling was so intense. Not all toys need to be that intense but the sense of fun and enjoyment and entertainment needs to be present. We need to lighten up about sex, people, and we need to do it now.
6. Be Multiorgasmic
One orgasm is not satisfactorily. Go for the glory, Huck, and get going on multiples. If you’ve never had multiple orgasms, we requirement to have a conversation, and we need to have it now. Multiple orgasms are your birthright, as a girlfriend. They are nature’s way of making up for childbirth and menstruation. So get yourself a vibe, honey, and get growing already. Make up for some lost time. Figure out what be suspends your boat and do more of it.
7. Know Your P*ssy
Take pictures of your p*ssy. Get to differentiate what it looks like. Taste your p*ssy, get to know what it tastes disposed to. Become familiar with its idiosyncrasies — every p*ssy has them. Places where there are numberless nerve bundles and therefore more sensitivity. Places where your percipience lights up from the attention. P*ssies are magical f*cking things. The most staggering things on the planet, in my humble opinion. Every p*ssy has a personality that demands to be figured out and mastered. For instance, my p*ssy can play very coy at times (ooooh, s rk off me sweetly) only to turn around and really dig on an intense fingering hearing and really rough sex. I hate coy females, as a general rule, so this was a bit revolting to discover but it is something that I needed to accept about my lady rts. One of my lovers labels her p*ssy Priscilla which hints at her p*ssy’s personality. They are as varied as penises, faith me, and need to be treated just as respectfully, if not more so.
8. Know Your Ass
Ass sex is some of the most deep sex a person can have. The feeling of being completely penetrated really contests nothing else — vaginal intercourse doesn’t necessarily stuff you to the gills like anal does. Lady-in-waitings don’t have prostates, which is a serious loss in the ass sex de rtment (unlike men), but our assh*les can diminish and ex nd and can, I would argue, independently orgasm. I’ve had ass sex orgasms before and attribute them to being adept to be in my body, let go, and allow sensation to take over. It also helps that it’s a rarely raunchy and dirty. Asses can be a tremendous source of release and newness in the sex bailiwick. When you’re tired of the straight-up vaginal experience, go south and see what be mentions.
9. F*ck Being Underf*cked
I share Kim Anami’s sentiment that the unbounded majority of women are underf*cked. Well f*ck that. Find someone who you can virtually literally f*ck to death. Whose body wakes up in the night to f*ck yours without any aware thought being involved. Whose c*ck or p*ssy you want to downright worship. Whose cum you scantiness to drink more than effing water in the desert. When we f*ck in that mode, our hearts decide to play along. They can’t help but get swept away by all of the rigorism. Hearts are easily led astray by words, deeds, and by simply great sex. Let your sentiments get involved. When we f*ck in this fashion, everything in our lives gets healthier. We can’t help it. Our finances improve, our health improves, our joie de vivre fires through the roof.
10. Have Boundaries
Know what your brutish limits are. This can be a tough lesson for many. When I went into an frantic BDSM session without knowing what my hard limits were, I quickly discovered them. This was a wake-up call of the highest order and one that I ran second to vanilla-land with. I’m a bit of a twist — a vanilla girl with a swirl of s sm. Even though the really kinky stuff turns me on, I have to reinforce grounded in what satisfies me in other realms, rticularly my emotional the world at large. I need a lover who is respectful and attentive. Who is down with my switchy-ness — my talents to top or bottom depending on my mood. I didn’t discover any of this until I got out there and played. So emphasize until your boundaries become ap rent or until you strike gold. You’ll identify it when it happens. Boundaries are very black and white so if you hit gray, you’re not there yet.