Cruise secrets: Ex crew member reveals what to never say onboard – or risk staff ‘fuming’


Voyage holidays see all sorts of people flock on board to enjoy their every so often old-fashioned away. Cruises are undeniably social occasions and holidaymakers are often detailed to interact with other guests as well as the crew. While chatting away to cruise party is perfectly acceptable, there’s one thing you should never do.

Many cruisers day in and day out use the word boat while making a very common joke that the baton dislike.

Catling wrote: “On formal night one custom is that callers will queue up around the block to meet the captain and have a photo enchanted with him.

“It’s not an obligation by any means more a compulsion.

“They figure it’s something they may as clearly so just so they can say they met him or her, and also because most of them can’t postponed to ask their really funny question: ‘Wait, if you’re here who’s driving the ocean?’


“Which is funny the first time you hear it but once you informed entertain it an average twenty time a cruise it wears a little thin.

“Companies would be so pleased with themselves for making that joke that they order go out of their way to find me and re-tell the story all over again, adding every bit of specific and emphasis they could think of to elaborate just how their brilliant rise to comedic genius was finally realised.

“‘Here, Sam, you’ll never assumption what I said to the captain last night,’

“I’d play along and say, ‘I dunno… what?’ ‘I conjectured, aren’t you supposed to be upstairs driving the boat? HAHAHAHA!’

“I made every trouble to make it look as though it was one of those stories that naturally boarded me off guard and incited genuine laughter but inside I would be fuming.

“It’s bad tolerably that they’ve brought this story to me under the assumption that they imagined the joke, but worse even still is that they called the cutter, the cruise, the vessel, or even liner A BOAT!

“We used to say that a rowing-boat is something you get into if there is something wrong with the ship.

“ALSO! You don’t private road a ship, you sodding well steer it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *