17 Reasons My Daughter Was Late For School This Morning



17 Reasons My Daughter Was Late For School This Morning I’m customarily a stickler for arriving at school on time, if not a few minutes early. My 4.5-year-old daughter’s preschool doesn’t start until 9 a.m., and her unfledged brother usually wakes us before the sun’s up, so seriously, it doesn’t seem to be query that much. Her teacher often sends email reminders to us moms that unpunctually arrivals disrupt the class and compromise their already infully impecunious schedule, but I know they aren’t directed at me. Whether my punctuality is a genetic quality or a learned one, I’m not sure, but you’ll rarely find me or my kids tardy . . . until today. Darling teacher, let me tell you a little about our morning to give you 17 figure outs why.

  1. Drag daughter out of bed at 8 a.m. Ap rently, a devilish combo of monsters and scorpions invaded her bedroom nearly 1 a.m., and she wanted her dad to investigate. At 5 a.m., they came back, hence the exhaustion.
  2. Daughter wants to rig out Monster High, despite never seeing the show (thanks, YouTube). Her explanation: a silver tank top and black skirt. It’s two degrees outside.
  3. Daughter decides all of her small-clothes feel “weird” because they have “lines.” Requests that I decide a ir of nts without a single seam, and no, tights and a skirt desire not be acceptable.
  4. Daughter requests that I pick out three outfit privileges for her. Rejects them all. Three more? Those are “hideous,” too. Eventually she beat a retreats out a Target t-shirt and a ir of leggings she’s had so long they’ve become capris. Previous the point of caring, I tell her as long as she adds a cardigan, it’s fine.
  5. It seems underwear fondles weird, too. After trying four different irs, she requests to “go commando,” initiate a lengthy conversation about how few social situations are underwear-optional.
  6. Daughter struggles on every single ir of her socks and decides she hates them all. Wants that one tandem of Easter socks, size 12-24 months, that she wore yesterday. Can I barely wash them now?
  7. Daughter discovers the manicure our babysitter gave her yesterday has a scrap. Requests that I remove nail polish and re int them all in a new color, virtuousness now.
  8. While I’m explaining to daughter why the manicure has to wait and why long sleeves and have ones heart set ons are essential during a Midwestern January, her little brother heads to her court kitchen and dumps the bucket of 200+ pieces of play food all over her com rtment, then tries to eat them. I guess it’s breakfast time.
  9. Daughter can’t elect whether she wants Cheerios, a bagel, or waffles, so she decides that I should order her all three. Plus, she really wants an apple with peanut butter and ice cream. Her buddy forages in the ntry for his own breakfast and comes out with a bag of flour. You can guess what happened next.
  10. I induced daughter the wrong sippy cup. I’m a monster.
  11. She wants a big girl glass of draw off with a crazy straw. Two minutes later, spills glass of tap all over the floor.
  12. Daughter wants her hair in two pigtails . . . no, in one big ponytail . . . no, well-deserved a headband.
  13. Have to remind daughter for the 100th time that she’s made to wear gym shoes to school, and no, those Wonder Woman boots don’t be sure of.
  14. Ten minutes later, still haven’t decided on a ir of shoes.
  15. Halfway out the door and unearth a weird smell. Yep, that’s little brother’s diaper.
  16. Halfway to persuasion, realize forgot daughter’s coat at home (she won’t wear hers in the car). Think over whether it’s worth turning around, but again, it’s two degrees out. Back we go.
  17. Inexorably, arrive at school and yell at daughter that we have to hurry incarcerated. “But first mom, let’s tell some jokes.” Honey, this whole morning have the impressions like one big one!



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