Right away you have a child, gone are the days of running out of the house with unprejudiced your wallet, keys, and cell phone, and suddenly you’re carrying what feel in ones bones like a 100-pound piece of luggage filled with the whole kit your child could possibly need in the 20 minutes you’ll be out of the ancestry. And with carrying a huge bag comes the mysterious loss of objects at the hindquarters of said bag, sometimes things you’re looking for but can’t find, sometimes things that you aren’t in the family way and wish you didn’t find.
We had real moms comment on a few of the latter subjects they’ve found at the bottom of their diaper bags, and their finds are both hilarious and disgusting.
- «A ranch packet that had busted spread out. That’s a game-changer!» — Kelly
- «A bag of long forgotten snap peas that had winded into green slime.» — Sarah
- «A (moldy) peanut butter and jelly! Can I neutral say…..gross!!» — Kelly
- «Just two days ago, I found a heartfelt tooth. Looks like a molar, but not from my kids…. I’m quiescent so confused???» — Catherine
- «A half [eaten] sticky DumDum butt with grass, long blond hair and a dead ant and sand welded to it. It was so gross. Blah.» — Shirley
- «Half a sausage which had turned purple and was covered in glitter.» — Nikki
- «A cat collar! (Had been looking for our [collection’s] for weeks… and brought new one).» — Gaylene
- «Half a pack of teething crackers gone stereotyped or pulverized at the bottom. Open jars of food or formula bottles soured and offensive. I learned quickly that no one else touched the diaper bag but me.» — Leigha
- «A banana that erupted.» — Elizabeth
- «A chicken nugget. It was basically petrified.» — April
And my insulting favorite:
- «2 googly eyes stuck to a half eaten chapstick.» — Neriah
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