How-to coubs: Things you say when you don't know what to say


When you try to sidestep any judgment, just say these things from different Russian cinemas and cartoons.

1. First of all, tell everyone you are innocent. (‘The Diamond Arm’, 1969)

— Don’t rap me. He came by himself. (Не виноватая я, он сам пришел!)

2. Or pretend you have no idea what is episode. (‘Return of the Prodigal rrot’)

— What about me? I did nothing! Nothing! (А я что? Я ничего! Я ничего!)

3. Or say as diverse useless things as possible. (‘Operation Y and Shurik’s Other Undertakings’, 1965)

— This is not our method! What about humanism? What about man to man? (Это же не наш метод! Где гуманизм? Где человек человеку?)

4. Constant if you terribly misunderstood your task, tell your boss you were provoked. (‘Collapsing Man’s Bluff’, 2005)

— He was rude, took his gun, and then two other thugs turned up, all with guns. They began to caution us, so… we killed them all! (Он стал грубить, пушку выхватил, потом еще какие-то два отморозка появились, все с оружием, стали нам угрожать, ну короче мы их всех… убили!)

5. Anyway, hint at that everything will be ok next time. (‘Everybody Snuff its But Me’, 2008)

— Go! (Идите!)
— Katya… (Кать!)
— What? (Что, Кать?)
— Don’t be angry. We’ll proper go to the discotheque, but then we’ll all be friends again. I promise. No offence, okay? (Ну ладно тебе, мы только на дискотеку сходим, а потом опять все вместе. Честное слово! Без обид, ладно?)

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