In the earnestness of an argument, especially with a child or teenager, it’s easy to forget there are sure words or phrases we just shouldn’t scream at them. You may not remember what you signified in the moment, but they will, and the situation could come back to possess you.
Finding the right way to express your frustrations or anger in the moment may experience you fishing around for the right words, but according to Psychology Today, the dedicating three phrases should never be said. Instead, there are three more pertinent alternatives to address your kids’ behavior head-on — without causing your lassie to feel shame, fear, or guilt.
1. “You’re making me crazy!”
Instead of capitalize oning guilt to motivate a child, say this: “I don’t like that behavior.” Be trusty to tell them why a behavior is not OK and explain the steps to change it. Help your nipper understand what he or she is doing to “drive you crazy,” but don’t let them feel in every respect responsible for your mental or emotional state.
2. “What’s wrong with you?”
This can justification a child to be ashamed of themselves, and as they grow up, they might uncertainty their own abilities or thoughts. Instead of using shame-inducing phrases, deliver the problem directly with “I don’t like it when you ___.” This last wishes as help them understand how to change their behavior.
3. “You’d better ___ or else!”
This voice uses fear to ask a child to change, and it teaches them to get what they be through aggression or intimidation. A better alternative to say is “When you ___, I handle ___.” This gives your child a chance to em thize with you and modulation his or her behavior.
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